I am normally a very tolerant human being. It is my way, through education and experience, to accept other peoples' cultures, religions and beliefs. I want this freedom for myself and the logic to our free system is clear.

My tolerance and understanding goes right out the window when I read stories in the news about 23 year old student reporters in Afghanistan who are sentenced to death because they had the audacity to ask a question about their religion; when young women who have been gang raped are held responsible for the actions of those men, and punished severely for it.

What the hell kind of religion is this? Is this my background of Christian upbringing in a free culture talking? Do I have the right to be outraged that this Islamic government sees fit to deal out cruelty and punishment; as if Christiandom never has? And another question I have to ask..are these stories being used to manipulate my emotions into hating a major world religion so that I won't balk when we blow them up?

All I know is that any religion that would treat it's followers with such brutality does not qualify as religion to me! I don't subscribe to violence in any form...not political, not cultural, not religious. Course, that's just me. I guess I am a little odd in that I don't find bodies crushing together and droplets of blood flying in diverse directions either exciting or in anyway gratifying. I find it extremely upsetting that anyone would define this as entertaining or a "career" path. My discomfort however, does not define a free culture. Therefore, if willing adult human beings wish to throttle each other, then far be it from me to stop them. And that's the real difference between our culture and cultures like Afghanistan's I guess. There seems to be little choice in the religious states of Islam, who gets throttled and who does the throttling.

It would appear through media coverage, although Pye's suspicions in this area run in the 99% range; that some Islamic extremists would have done with our nation of excess, corruption and lack of disciplined maturity. However; if ruling people with an iron hand is the answer, beating them senseless and forbidding their God given minds to explore their own creation - I'll take our crazy system of ups and downs, backwards and forwards and inbetweens ANY FREAKIN DAY OF THE WEEK. We might be flawed, but at least we are figuring it out for ourselves! We have the courage to go forward and try and if we fail, we try something else.

The extremist may think we are a nation lost but I'll tell ya what, any priest or president or imam or pope who tries to hang a veil on me will have to lay it on my dead body because that's what kind of fight I will put up.

I am not a woman so afraid that I would not be willing to stand up and tell God himself the same thing I told my last husband: If you want a willing partner to walk through life and share that with you, I'm there; but if you're looking for a slave or a servant girl, just watch the door swingin, cause I'm already gone.

It's not that I don't believe there are Islamic terrorists; I'm just not quite sure who is backing them. In the past our own CIA has been found to be at the bottom of various nefarious activities and Georgie Boy too, is not above doing whatever must be done to manipulate the mass consciousness. His own dad has plenty of "the company's" training.
If however, there is some kind of conspiracy to bring America down; to destroy our economic system and lead the people into chaos, I have some disturbing news for these extremists. You don't know us. We have strengths and virtues you have no idea of. We have a set of core beliefs that goes so far beyond that of Islam...if you give us a reason to unify and stop effing around; you will regret it. This is not meant to be a threat.
I just know from knowing Pye as I do that a person can be pushed just so far and if you threaten the safety of the ones that person holds dear; you will unlock an indominable force; because it's not the power of an ideology, it's the power of the heart.

Ok..that's my rant for the day...thanks for reading! I know I sound mad..and I am, for the young people of Afghanistan, and any other country or place where they can't ask a reasonable question without fear of death and punishment.

Alright George Whitethunder, or Tsiron Cu Boukoleon or Keech, or whatever your names are, what are you doing in my head?? Why do you keep waking me up every night with a new face on and in a different part of history? Why are you chasing me around my dreams? I don't understand what you want!
You've got my attention...you've got my focus...you've got my sleep, why do you keep coming around every single night? Sometimes I think I feel you so close..almost as if your breathe was on my neck but I know how gone I'd have to be to even think that. Just because I know you - you don't have any idea...not a clue, or a hint or a vapor; do you? Can you feel it when I surround you with light? How could you know that I wish you life that is a constant loving embrace...that I feel your sighs and whispers..that I remember the same heart beating..that I'd rather never even feel the brush of your body next to mine passing one day in a crowd than to cause you one moment of fear or pain. How could I want for anything more than a smile to grace your face when there is no actual reason for it..only because your soul is content.

Ah Keechers, I miss ya so much...I sure do hope you're good.

Haven't been with my ex in..four years now? And I'm not quite sure how many of those four it took for him to realize I was gone...not that we haven't remained friends. No sense in carrying hurt and anger around. But this man has not paid a bit of attention to me in fifteen years...except to tell me what he's doing or done or bought, or fixed, or broken..or whatever...and then out of the blue today, he stands up in front of me and acts like he's going to kiss me. Jesus Murphy and Grace, I didn't know whether to run or call for a priest. Luckily he was in his usual state of 4.5 sheets to the wind, so I quickly averted his advances by offering him another beer. It was about then that Pyewacket jumped upon the balanced glass top table, which was apparently not balanced and whoosh...there went everything...cat, tabletop, bottle of red wine, always fashionable on beige carpet, scrabble game, nice touch...ash try full of butts because 75% of my visitors today smoked. Yes..it was a chaotic and disgusting sight, but one that saved me from further romantic interludes with a man whose only romance has been with Old Milwaukee for as long as I care to remember.

He wanted to kiss me...HE wants to kiss me. Boy are signals getting scrambled up there somewhere. I put that order in YEARS ago. I gave up waitin on that one. I got a whole NEW order in now..and what do I get. I hate to say this...but whoever is in charge of the next world..ain't doin any better than who's in charge of this one. Mark my words..heaven is not going to be a trip to paradise...

What did I do today? Nothin. I started thinkin about things, but then I thought better of it and went to sleep instead. It's January in New York. Outside, everything is either dead or sleeping. Since I'm not dead yet, I should take the hint and hit the pillow. At least that's how it seems to me. What could I possibly know that millions of years of nature doesn't? I feel sleepy...when I'm awake I don't seem to be very cognizant of stuff going on around me...and when I'm walking, my legs feel like I'm forcing them to do something they don't want to do. There's no sunshine; nothing is green and everything is a monotone of grayscale. The world is lulling me to sleep and I think it's totally arrogant of me to argue with it. Therefore it is with great pleasure and several gaping yawns, that I bid you adieu (to yieu and yieu and yieu)
Sweet dreams all~ (I hope)(break a leg) can you say that to someone for good dreams? oh well..see yas tamarra.
sleepy pye

Some people cannot stand drama. I happen to be one of them so when I started becoming all dramatic with myself and going through all these histrionics, I was really put off with me. I started trying to avoid myself..not speaking to me when I'd pass myself in the hall..it was a nightmare. Every time I'd be alone with myself there was all this moaning and groaning and crying..."what the hell?" I kept saying. It seems I was being a little to hard on me, cause then I'd get all bent out of shape and run out of the room and refuse to talk about it anymore. It was really becoming a problem.

Finally I just got the nerve to confront myself and find out once and for all what the damn problem was! I stood there, looking forlorn...not wanting to make eye contact, until finally the truth came choking out, "we're in love."
"WHAT?" I became incensed...incredulous...incomprehensible as I started pacing around the room more anxiously by the minute. "Love? What the hell are you talking about?" I demanded.
I looked over at myself standing there meekly. I looked so small, so defenseless.
"you know" I sort of whispered, "l-o-v-e"
"Oh god, I think I'm gonna hurl" I whined, holding my gut and feeling my head spin. Love? Oh no...certainly I had this all wrong. There was no love to this..it was just a friendship...an interesting person..a nice fella with dark eyes that swallowed me up like a OH MY GOD...a friend with a sweet smile and full lips that....
no no no..something is wrong here..I am not thinking about lips.
damn, I am thinking about lips..his lips. This is NOT RIGHT. Why am I thinking about lips and eyes and arms and every minute detail of his entire being...
gulp.
I'm in love.
And don't go getting all excited and happy and thinking how great it is. It isn't. Its awful. It's the worst thing that could happen. It just can't be..never ever..
no wonder i've been groaning and moaning to myself and HOW MUCH i did not want to know this. great. the perfect way to spend the winter of 2008...freezing on every conceivable level. oh yeah. Life is grand.