I don't even know where to begin this morning I'm so revved up. What a weekend. There was a constant stream of freaked out people in and out of Pye's place over the weekend. We try to find words of hope and comfort for them, but this seems to becoming more and more difficult.

I first want to attack the problem of the meat packing industry. I'm sure you have all heard of the latest recall, and maybe you have seen the video footage shot by two employees of said meat packers who were fired for their efforts to alert people as to what is taking place there. Horrendous pictures of animals so ill they have to be lifted with machines to be transported for slaughter. Well that's it for me. As much as I do enjoy a nice slice of roast beef now and then, I absolutely cannot condone the torture of animals by continuing to eat them. From here on out, if I buy meat at all, I will make sure it has been raised ethically and morally by local people I KNOW. Fortunately for me I live in an area where people are producing meat this way and it is available. But honestly, if I had to kill and butcher that cow myself...there's no way I could ever eat it, so why do I?

Pye's second question is what is going on with SSI? Every person I know who receives SSI has received notification that they are being re-evaluated. The girl across the hall from me, who suffers with fibromyalgia, a serious liver condition and a host of pyschological problems has been deemed fit for work. I sometimes don't see this girl for weeks on end because she can't leave her apartment..even to get her mail down the hall! But she's ok to go back to work?? I have also received a letter stating I am being re-evaluated. I was told I was 100% permanently disabled five years ago...I thought permanent was forever? Since then I have had additional surgery on my back and a heart attack...are they going to tell me I can go back to work? As much as I would like to, I can tell you right now, if I have to work 40 hours a week, I'll be dead in few months...no kidding. In two years, this fanatical housekeeper hasn't been able to do even half of the spring cleaning required and I've never lived in a house where everything wasn't as clean as a whistle. It makes me nuts.
So what's the plan...is this government hell bent on making sure that all middle aged women who have already given what they've got to give must now re-enter the work force at 55 years old or whatever? What kind of jobs will we be able to find? Who's going to hire us? We can't lift anything..we can't stand for very long...I also have seizures...I just don't know what's going to happen to us, but I'm scared. If they take my SSI away, I'm screwed, big time. I will lose my subsidized housing..and I have no car. I live in a rural area where there is no public transportation.
Is this how King George plans on paying for his war? By killing off anyone who can't pay their own way,...even though they already paid it? Everywhere I turn I'm given the message that I don't matter. My life is expendable and the best thing I could do for my country is die and stop using up resources. So this is the society we have created...wow. How do you guys want me to do it? Shall I hang myself? Find an iceberg to float out on..oh wait, those are all gone now...how about if I go to a zoo and get into a lions cage??
Well I got news for Bush...I will not go without a hell of a fight.
And what's more, I'm pretty sure the millions of women in this boat feel that same way. Won't he be surprized some morning when we all arrive on his doorstep with our mops and brooms and start really cleaning house...the whitehouse I mean.

We are coming for you George...and we won't be nice. It may be my last breath on this planet, but it will be a last breath worth taking if I take you with me...you and your little dog cheney too.

I can't say this is entirely unexpected. I feel as though my entire generation has been ignored since the very start. When we all joined together and stood up and said we didn't want the Viet Nam war, they pulled out the National Guard and started shooting at us...and what happened? Nothing. Our parents sat by their tv's and didn't budge. What kind of message was that? Well..the message was that we didn't matter...and that's still in our psyche. Is it any wonder so many baby boomers feel depressed, inadequate and abandoned? We were, for Christ's sake.
The thing that I'm counting on though, is that we won't let that happen again. We will not sit by and let them do the same thing to our kids and our grandkids. We must come back as a group. We are the largest group in this country...we have power...all we need to do is use it. AND WE MUST. We must stop the de-humanization of the American people. If this means we must occupy government offices just like we did in the 60's, then so be it. WHAT HAVE WE GOT TO LOSE? Believe me, I am against violence. I do not want to see a bloody revolution by any means..but...what happens when they start killing our children, like they killed us? I for one, will not sit back. I will arm myself and I will fight, no question. If that's what I have to do to save my country...I'm already there.

It was one of those days where panic and chaos ruled. Everyone I know was having a rough time and my phone had not stopped ringing since morning. Neither had the chairs at my table had a chance to cool down before the next body had plunked down into them for a talk with Aunt Susa.

One friend who had stopped by, a young man, seemingly without any problems, watched and listened as I wrangled a phone call from another hysterical friend.
"Wow" he gasped, "she was really upset". I nodded, saying I got a lot of that and that my friends really trusted me. The next thing I knew my young friend was unraveling his story before me in such a matter of fact manner, that it took me a minute to catch up with what he was saying. When I finally grasped the weight of his words, my heart began to sink into the floor. The inordinately bright and socially adept kid I'd been conversing with for the past few months was telling me he was a hard core addict for the past seven years. He showed me the fentynol patches on his stomach while he told me how much better he was doing now that he wasn't eating them any more. I asked him how old he was and he said without even understanding how hard it was for me to hear, that he was 19. 19!!! and he's been addicted to drugs for 7 years...that means since he was 12. I'd cry my eyes out if I wasn't in such a state of shock, and I'm sure I will later when I'm lying in bed just thinking. Where are his parents?? How can they not know their child is addicted to drugs worse than heroin and has been since he was in grade school for crying out loud? I don't get it. Nice family...divorced...dad owns his own business..remarried with two little kids, million dollar home; the mom is a real estate agent who has struggled with serious health issues for the past ten years..but they aren't bad people. And their son, whom I shall call Tim, is as bright as they come. A real self starter...has studied things that interest him to the point of understanding them on a college level. Plus he has such a way with people..he can talk to anyone and is pleasant and kind and sweet. He worries about his mom and always says he won't move away because he wants to take care of her...my heart is just breaking.

So he tells me his problem, and that he wants to get better. He wants to be done with the drugs, but he does not know how. He has tried more than once to get off of them and has succeeded physically, but not mentally. I suggested rehab, but he refuses saying he has no insurance and he is adamant about his parents not knowing he has a problem! He needs to be taken off the fentynol gradually, under a doctor's supervision...but will a doctor do this? Will a doctor work with him confidentially to overcome his addiction? Does anyone out there know the answers to these questions? I do not. I know nothing about drug rehab. I've known of people who have undergone it, but never had the opportunity to talk with them at any great length about it. "Tim" says in rehab they will put him on methadone and he doesn't want to be addicted to that instead. Is this the regular treatment? Do they just substitute one drug for another? What's the skinny on all this...I have to know, because I have to help Tim. I absolutely will not stand by and watch this kid get flushed. And I will not turn him over to a system that I know will not fix him either. I've been through enough of the "system" myself to know that all they do is give you a bunch of drugs and put you back out on the street. That's no solution. Tim asked for my help..and I know he really wants it. Can anyone suggest how I might go about doing that?

I would appreciate any suggestions any of you might have. Thanks so much!

Pye

I took my own advice and looked beyond my nose. This is not a sane world folks. I'm not sure how an entire planet goes insane, but this one has.
There's no comprehending the decisions that are being made at the top and there's understanding the behavior of the people below. The news each day is ever more bizarre and the thing that gets me most is how the news casters report it as if it's all normal. Normal if you live in Belleview maybe...
People are use to functioning in a world where everything proceeds as normal. You do the same thing every day...the status quo. They might complain about it, call it boring; but in reality it's comforting for humans to be able to count on the same thing happening tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. That's why, in this completely and utterly whacko world, people are just walking around as if nothing is wrong, proceeding as normal. However, inside the consciousness is screaming, "this is NOT normal...WTF!" and because the inner and outer consciousnesses are not on the same wavelength, circuits begin to pop and burn. This inner feeling of uneasiness...of creeping danger starts to brew and simmer. Most individuals assume it is just them that feels it...but in reality, it's a sea of disharmony and everyone is sloshing around in it. No one really talks about it, because they don't know what it is, or that it is pervasive.
Fact is, I've felt it since I can remember...always growing in intensity, always crouching like a hidden tiger waiting to pounce. I've always known that I would see changes on this earth that have never been seen before. I knew that before anyone ever read the Bible to me, or told me of prophecies. Somehow I was born with that knowledge, and was looking for the signs the minute I could use my eyes. but it is so gigantic now that there is hardly a human who can't feel it. The insecurity, the questions, the instinctive fear at humungous storms and cataclysms...the general feeling of unease.
What do we do?
There is only one thing that can be done. There is only one thing that might possibly change the course this planet is on.
When I had my heart attack a few months ago, the doctors told me the scientific reasons I had become ill...too much cholesterol...too much fat in my diet, etc. etc.
I thought about all of that, but in the end I knew the real reason I'd had a heart attack and it wasn't really due to cholesterol. It was because I was holding back love. I was lying to myself and telling myself I didn't want to be loved and holding all of that in my heart. That's why I had a heart attack.
So back to the answer to the problem...love. As always, this is the supreme cure for anything that ails. If this planet suddenly had an awakening of spirit; and consciously recognized that we are all family and began honestly loving and caring for one another; all of the problems would cease. I believe this would cure even problems that seem completely unrelated such as weather and geologic disturbances. Yes, this is a radically different way of looking at things than most people; but not the Native Americans. They realized the interconnected-ness and affect of inharmonious living habits many, many generations before us white people even got here.

And now my sister just got here, so I have to stop blogging and go. Have a good day people!

I've just been reading the NY Times and it occurred to me that this newspaper is actually more of a research paper on why America is in the state of psychosis that it's in.

Between the article on college endowments at huge universities like Yale and Harvard and one on "how to stay one step ahead of aging", I can't help but think that a large percentage of the current wage earning American public is completely selfish and self-centered. It isn't that I haven't noticed this irregularity before; but it is so much a part of the "scene" now, that people don't even realize how preposterous they sound.

One guy said that through endowments, they want to make sure the next generation has the same opportunities and advantages that they have. Um, excuse me, but 32% of us out here can't even maintain the same level of wealth and comfort our parents had! If you are talking about opportunities and advantages for those people earning over $180,000 per year...exactly how many people are we talking about? If you don't think the education of ALL our children is important...take a look at crime, drug use and mental illness figures. Hello NY TIMES..there is a world outside of your city! Mine exists a short four hours away...and the taxes people are paying here in my little burg certainly go to helping your big fat apple stay afloat. I won't even address Harvard and Yale...they ain't listenin.

And I'd also like to give a shout out to the "Ivy Leaguers"...what are you gonna do when the raging masses come knockin on your front door? Hungry, homeless people do unreasonable things..as shown during the French revolution, just a short 200 years ago. I'm sure you've studied this historical event in your hallowed halls...were you learning anything?

I really shouldn't place the blame on those who have earned their degrees from ivy league schools. My own sister and son graduated from Cornell University. However, Cornell has a huge agricultural school which seems to balance out some of the unfortunate greed of of our other esteemed institutions for knowledge. (Not that Cornell isn't greedy, mind you.) I think it is an interesting side note though, that if one graduates from the state funded ag school with a 4.0, you don't get to graduate summa cum laude...that's only if you graduate from the "other side of the tracks". But there is no class distinktion in our society.

The other thing I want to comment on, again, is aging. These articles that insist you can "stay one step ahead" are absolute bull hockey. That little determination lies in your genes, and while you definitely can take excellent care of your body, there is NO pill or exercise machine or even surgery, that is going to keep us young. We boomers are aging..at least on the outside. Yes, many of us are still grappling with teenage issues on the inside, but the body does not wait. No one knows better than I how frustrating, depressing and absolutely horrifying it is not to be able to rock and roll all night! At least on a dance floor or some other real fun place..one could describe what passes for my sleep as rocking and rolling. But anyway...we just have to face the facts. Knees don't last forever..and while they are making progress in the replaceable parts category; it ain't fast enough, cheap enough or painless enough for most of us. All I gotta say is, someone better invent a hover chair pretty quick..cause I ain't goin four wheelin.

But back to my original issue of selfish and self centered Americans. We are. Yes, we are also generous and compassionate..but we have a tendency to just throw money at things and hope they go away. This is not how it works, not to mention our money isn't worth so much these days. What we need to do as elders, is look ahead and see what we can do to help this generation that's taking the wheel now. These kids are having a rough freaking time! I know, cause I talk to lots of them. Especially in the 18-25 age group, I find so many of them are absolutely terrified and unprepared for what's in front of them. Well, honey, if they be unprepared...that's the fault of the generation raising them.

That too, however is a very sticky wicket. I remember struggling with my own inner demons while trying to raise my kids at the same time. Trying to figure out how to be a good parent who was not MY parents predominated my child raising years. In this quest to undo the wrongs of the father, I found so many things within myself I had to fix first! Well, you just don't even know these things, until you have kids of your own...so how do you prepare for that? I'm not saying we did anything wrong..we did the best job we could with where our heads were at..but many of us apparently had our heads up our aspercreme and still do.

What I think about all this is, that these kids need our help. They need to be listened to and they need some education! So many of them don't even know how to fill out job applications and balance their check books! There are places to volunteer your time and expertise; but there are plenty of young folks all around you that if you take the time, will probably end up spending time at your table drinking coffee with you and asking you questions like, "how the hell do you do this????" And not only that...you will find that they are not the empty headed, pop culture infested robot brains one might assume our culture is turning out, if you listen to the media at all. Most of them are breaking their asses trying to make their way. I know kids who are working two and three jobs...going to school...helping out their parents or siblings..there are damn good kids out there. Support them! Stand up for them and be there for them. That's all we can do now.

And this concludes Pye's tirade for the day. Thank you very much.

I am normally a very tolerant human being. It is my way, through education and experience, to accept other peoples' cultures, religions and beliefs. I want this freedom for myself and the logic to our free system is clear.

My tolerance and understanding goes right out the window when I read stories in the news about 23 year old student reporters in Afghanistan who are sentenced to death because they had the audacity to ask a question about their religion; when young women who have been gang raped are held responsible for the actions of those men, and punished severely for it.

What the hell kind of religion is this? Is this my background of Christian upbringing in a free culture talking? Do I have the right to be outraged that this Islamic government sees fit to deal out cruelty and punishment; as if Christiandom never has? And another question I have to ask..are these stories being used to manipulate my emotions into hating a major world religion so that I won't balk when we blow them up?

All I know is that any religion that would treat it's followers with such brutality does not qualify as religion to me! I don't subscribe to violence in any form...not political, not cultural, not religious. Course, that's just me. I guess I am a little odd in that I don't find bodies crushing together and droplets of blood flying in diverse directions either exciting or in anyway gratifying. I find it extremely upsetting that anyone would define this as entertaining or a "career" path. My discomfort however, does not define a free culture. Therefore, if willing adult human beings wish to throttle each other, then far be it from me to stop them. And that's the real difference between our culture and cultures like Afghanistan's I guess. There seems to be little choice in the religious states of Islam, who gets throttled and who does the throttling.

It would appear through media coverage, although Pye's suspicions in this area run in the 99% range; that some Islamic extremists would have done with our nation of excess, corruption and lack of disciplined maturity. However; if ruling people with an iron hand is the answer, beating them senseless and forbidding their God given minds to explore their own creation - I'll take our crazy system of ups and downs, backwards and forwards and inbetweens ANY FREAKIN DAY OF THE WEEK. We might be flawed, but at least we are figuring it out for ourselves! We have the courage to go forward and try and if we fail, we try something else.

The extremist may think we are a nation lost but I'll tell ya what, any priest or president or imam or pope who tries to hang a veil on me will have to lay it on my dead body because that's what kind of fight I will put up.

I am not a woman so afraid that I would not be willing to stand up and tell God himself the same thing I told my last husband: If you want a willing partner to walk through life and share that with you, I'm there; but if you're looking for a slave or a servant girl, just watch the door swingin, cause I'm already gone.

It's not that I don't believe there are Islamic terrorists; I'm just not quite sure who is backing them. In the past our own CIA has been found to be at the bottom of various nefarious activities and Georgie Boy too, is not above doing whatever must be done to manipulate the mass consciousness. His own dad has plenty of "the company's" training.
If however, there is some kind of conspiracy to bring America down; to destroy our economic system and lead the people into chaos, I have some disturbing news for these extremists. You don't know us. We have strengths and virtues you have no idea of. We have a set of core beliefs that goes so far beyond that of Islam...if you give us a reason to unify and stop effing around; you will regret it. This is not meant to be a threat.
I just know from knowing Pye as I do that a person can be pushed just so far and if you threaten the safety of the ones that person holds dear; you will unlock an indominable force; because it's not the power of an ideology, it's the power of the heart.

Ok..that's my rant for the day...thanks for reading! I know I sound mad..and I am, for the young people of Afghanistan, and any other country or place where they can't ask a reasonable question without fear of death and punishment.