Haven't been with my ex in..four years now? And I'm not quite sure how many of those four it took for him to realize I was gone...not that we haven't remained friends. No sense in carrying hurt and anger around. But this man has not paid a bit of attention to me in fifteen years...except to tell me what he's doing or done or bought, or fixed, or broken..or whatever...and then out of the blue today, he stands up in front of me and acts like he's going to kiss me. Jesus Murphy and Grace, I didn't know whether to run or call for a priest. Luckily he was in his usual state of 4.5 sheets to the wind, so I quickly averted his advances by offering him another beer. It was about then that Pyewacket jumped upon the balanced glass top table, which was apparently not balanced and whoosh...there went everything...cat, tabletop, bottle of red wine, always fashionable on beige carpet, scrabble game, nice touch...ash try full of butts because 75% of my visitors today smoked. Yes..it was a chaotic and disgusting sight, but one that saved me from further romantic interludes with a man whose only romance has been with Old Milwaukee for as long as I care to remember.

He wanted to kiss me...HE wants to kiss me. Boy are signals getting scrambled up there somewhere. I put that order in YEARS ago. I gave up waitin on that one. I got a whole NEW order in now..and what do I get. I hate to say this...but whoever is in charge of the next world..ain't doin any better than who's in charge of this one. Mark my words..heaven is not going to be a trip to paradise...